Have you ever felt truly happy just because? Well, this blog is about being able to find the happiness you never thought you can have just because someone comes into your life and made it right. This is not a love letter from some love struck little girl, it details the adventures of a young career woman as she experiences the pains of labor and childbirth and becomes a mother for the first time.
February 16, 2012. I will never forget the day I found out I was pregnant. First, I knocked on my friends’ door to ask if the result meant I was pregnant. Then, I sat in the comfort room filled with bubbles that will soon go to heaven for they are almost gone. After that, I thought to myself: Am I ready for this?
I was not. I don’t think women at the age of twenty one will be ready for it. I was twenty one. I was sending two kids to high school, and paying off a humungous debt that wasn’t mine. I was, in a sense, too young to have the baby because I was old enough to carry my family’s burden.
June 5, 2012. I turned 22. I am four months pregnant with my first child. I loved being pregnant because I can eat anything without people saying I am greedy. I hated being pregnant because I got fat.
October 10, 2012. I gave birth at exactly 07:45 AM, with one mighty push. She was…. I can’t think of any word that would fit how I thought of her during that moment. She turned my world upside down. I felt pain like I never felt before and yet, now I know, when you see your child come out of you, all the pain goes away. Exactly like how the movies are, and how the books have explained this beautiful moment. I now have a 5 minute experience that I can turn into a thousand pages if I were to speak of how I really felt.
The months have passed, and my baby is growing. I felt like going to school all over again, for in each and every day, I would sleep with a lesson – a lesson taught by a child who can’t even say her name yet.
She taught me to smile even though I was riddled with problems. She brought that little wrinkle in my face because she amuses me with her ear splitting shrieks in the early part of the morning. She makes me smile because I see myself in her – talkative, smiling, and hard to anger. She makes me smile just because. She taught me that I can still write. For in every waking moment, I only desire to write about her and about us and about what she will become. She gave me the push that no one has done for the last three years. She, unknowingly to her, taught me that I am capable of getting angry when someone is noisy while she is asleep. Only my best of friends would know how hard it is to make me angry – but here, I know how to be furious when someone wakes her up.
I know that is a cliché. Every mom would tell me they feel that way, but wait, she has taught me much more than that.
I learned to clean. I used to be my Tita Nene’s number one enemy because I don’t like cleaning. But now, it would seem that every move I make, I remember her age old advices about cleaning. Wash the dishes like this, wash the laundry like this, clean the windows like this, and cook your food like this. As a mother, I realized that all the things in the house can be a danger to my kid, and so I have to take all necessary steps to ensure that she is safe, that she is miles away from getting sick.
I learned how babies develop from pregnancy until they grow up. I have started reading books full of baby development, what to expect on this month, what not to do on this specific time of growth and so on and so forth. I have tried pureeing an apple. She didn’t like it. I have yet to try potatoes and carrots, but anytime soon my fridge will be host to a lot of vegetables and fruits now that we are ready to eat more solids.
I learned to be more patient. I understood that she will not allow me to put her diaper on without having to sweat for it. I understood that she wants to sit rather than get bathed. I now know that I have to carry her around if she gets in one of her moods. I was tested when she can’t fall asleep even if its midnight and my eyes were droopy. I understood that babies will test my temper because they are naughty – but I am struggling to pass this test every day.
My daughter taught me to be honest. Every time a lie would come at the tip of my tongue, she will get inside my head and dawdle there until I feel ashamed of myself. I can only imagine her stares in the near future, steeling, hurtful stares that say: Liar, liar, liar. I get goose bumps.
Aravis has brought out the party girl in me. I realized that life is short and that, with such a beautiful gift rented from God, I have to make the most of my stay here spent with happy celebrations. Every tenth of the month, I celebrate the day she was given to me, just because the thank you Lord and night prayers and constant appreciation of this wonderful girl will not be enough to show her how happy I am that we are blessed with her.
Dear me I have a family now. A daughter, a partner who is willing to carry Aravis’ in his arms while we are out shopping and someone who can stay up all night to watch over her when the dratted house experiences a brown out.
She completed me – for I knew then that I was incomplete because I did not grow up with a sane mother, a responsible father and a happy family. Her presence knitted this broken family together. She has given us hope that even broken things can be mended, and broken hearts can be healed. She has made me a mother.
This time of my life I see myself abroad – teaching kids, earning a great deal, buying my own stuff, enjoying a date once in a while, single and definitely unattached. I went a different road, and it might not be colorful, and I might even get red eyes from lack of sleep, but it’s worth the ride. For I expect cards and words of love from her during Mays when we celebrate Mother’s day, drawings of stick figures on my birthdays, dirty clothes on the hamper because she decided to play in the mud, and expect her to one day throw beautiful white roses in the way to the altar while I get hitched to her cool, crazy dad – for as a mother, I have learned to dream big for my kid.
Motherhood has opened a lot of realizations to me, stuff that has filled my diary and my stories, and I knew that daily, it will give me more reasons to celebrate. She may not know how to walk yet, bite me with her new teeth, say Mama – but it would seem that she has taught me more than I needed to know. I have become the daughter of my daughter – for the lessons she did not intend to teach, but lessons that I will learn over and over again until I grow old.
P.S. Thank you so much for choosing me to be your mom, I will never be the same again.
Author : Maria Jevska Nicolau is a 23-year old trainer on sales excellence who has a long love history with writing and won many journalism awards at college and region. She has a one year old daughter and a baby boy on the way. She likes Harry Potter and it is her ambition to write a book.
Also read more from author, and When young women become young mom more here.
February 16, 2012. I will never forget the day I found out I was pregnant. First, I knocked on my friends’ door to ask if the result meant I was pregnant. Then, I sat in the comfort room filled with bubbles that will soon go to heaven for they are almost gone. After that, I thought to myself: Am I ready for this?
I was not. I don’t think women at the age of twenty one will be ready for it. I was twenty one. I was sending two kids to high school, and paying off a humungous debt that wasn’t mine. I was, in a sense, too young to have the baby because I was old enough to carry my family’s burden.
June 5, 2012. I turned 22. I am four months pregnant with my first child. I loved being pregnant because I can eat anything without people saying I am greedy. I hated being pregnant because I got fat.
October 10, 2012. I gave birth at exactly 07:45 AM, with one mighty push. She was…. I can’t think of any word that would fit how I thought of her during that moment. She turned my world upside down. I felt pain like I never felt before and yet, now I know, when you see your child come out of you, all the pain goes away. Exactly like how the movies are, and how the books have explained this beautiful moment. I now have a 5 minute experience that I can turn into a thousand pages if I were to speak of how I really felt.
The months have passed, and my baby is growing. I felt like going to school all over again, for in each and every day, I would sleep with a lesson – a lesson taught by a child who can’t even say her name yet.
She taught me to smile even though I was riddled with problems. She brought that little wrinkle in my face because she amuses me with her ear splitting shrieks in the early part of the morning. She makes me smile because I see myself in her – talkative, smiling, and hard to anger. She makes me smile just because. She taught me that I can still write. For in every waking moment, I only desire to write about her and about us and about what she will become. She gave me the push that no one has done for the last three years. She, unknowingly to her, taught me that I am capable of getting angry when someone is noisy while she is asleep. Only my best of friends would know how hard it is to make me angry – but here, I know how to be furious when someone wakes her up.
I know that is a cliché. Every mom would tell me they feel that way, but wait, she has taught me much more than that.
I learned to clean. I used to be my Tita Nene’s number one enemy because I don’t like cleaning. But now, it would seem that every move I make, I remember her age old advices about cleaning. Wash the dishes like this, wash the laundry like this, clean the windows like this, and cook your food like this. As a mother, I realized that all the things in the house can be a danger to my kid, and so I have to take all necessary steps to ensure that she is safe, that she is miles away from getting sick.
I learned how babies develop from pregnancy until they grow up. I have started reading books full of baby development, what to expect on this month, what not to do on this specific time of growth and so on and so forth. I have tried pureeing an apple. She didn’t like it. I have yet to try potatoes and carrots, but anytime soon my fridge will be host to a lot of vegetables and fruits now that we are ready to eat more solids.
I learned to be more patient. I understood that she will not allow me to put her diaper on without having to sweat for it. I understood that she wants to sit rather than get bathed. I now know that I have to carry her around if she gets in one of her moods. I was tested when she can’t fall asleep even if its midnight and my eyes were droopy. I understood that babies will test my temper because they are naughty – but I am struggling to pass this test every day.
My daughter taught me to be honest. Every time a lie would come at the tip of my tongue, she will get inside my head and dawdle there until I feel ashamed of myself. I can only imagine her stares in the near future, steeling, hurtful stares that say: Liar, liar, liar. I get goose bumps.
Aravis has brought out the party girl in me. I realized that life is short and that, with such a beautiful gift rented from God, I have to make the most of my stay here spent with happy celebrations. Every tenth of the month, I celebrate the day she was given to me, just because the thank you Lord and night prayers and constant appreciation of this wonderful girl will not be enough to show her how happy I am that we are blessed with her.
Dear me I have a family now. A daughter, a partner who is willing to carry Aravis’ in his arms while we are out shopping and someone who can stay up all night to watch over her when the dratted house experiences a brown out.
She completed me – for I knew then that I was incomplete because I did not grow up with a sane mother, a responsible father and a happy family. Her presence knitted this broken family together. She has given us hope that even broken things can be mended, and broken hearts can be healed. She has made me a mother.
This time of my life I see myself abroad – teaching kids, earning a great deal, buying my own stuff, enjoying a date once in a while, single and definitely unattached. I went a different road, and it might not be colorful, and I might even get red eyes from lack of sleep, but it’s worth the ride. For I expect cards and words of love from her during Mays when we celebrate Mother’s day, drawings of stick figures on my birthdays, dirty clothes on the hamper because she decided to play in the mud, and expect her to one day throw beautiful white roses in the way to the altar while I get hitched to her cool, crazy dad – for as a mother, I have learned to dream big for my kid.
Motherhood has opened a lot of realizations to me, stuff that has filled my diary and my stories, and I knew that daily, it will give me more reasons to celebrate. She may not know how to walk yet, bite me with her new teeth, say Mama – but it would seem that she has taught me more than I needed to know. I have become the daughter of my daughter – for the lessons she did not intend to teach, but lessons that I will learn over and over again until I grow old.
P.S. Thank you so much for choosing me to be your mom, I will never be the same again.
Author : Maria Jevska Nicolau is a 23-year old trainer on sales excellence who has a long love history with writing and won many journalism awards at college and region. She has a one year old daughter and a baby boy on the way. She likes Harry Potter and it is her ambition to write a book.
Also read more from author, and When young women become young mom more here.
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